By the time I got to college, I was just TIRED!
I was tired! I was tired of being judged.
I was tired of EVERYTHING!
I WAS TIRED!!
I am a smiler you know.
I love to smile,
I love to laugh.
In fact I laugh all the time,
Have you met me?
I have such a gregarious personality and an infectious laugh they say.
But College life...
College life really did change me.
I had to become this new person,
Resting bitch face was my resort.
I became that ‘emotionally unavailable’ person, not smiling, not angry, not laughing. NOTHING
You could never read me!
It was just a resting bitch face every day.
Being an intimidaton was one of the negative traits people identified me with in college.
Intimidator was a descriptor of such an ever-smiling, laughing, friendly person,
The irony!
Who even thought underneath all that was a bubbly Sagittarius?
It was homophobia that gave birth to the intimidator in me,
It’s like hate giving birth to hate, and then hate calls foul.
So now you can’t taste your own medicine?
Hate, prejudice, discrimination and all forms of bullying made me this person,
The INTERNET!! Goddamn, the Internet.
I missed the days when there was no internet (sometimes), haha
If only we were not judgemental and conservative,
The world would be a better place.
But maybe you lot want to be like dinosaurs!!
Eish u went though a lot my dear
ReplyDeleteWe move!!
ReplyDeleteI love you 💖 and i just read one post
ReplyDelete❤️❤️❤️❤️
DeleteI somewhat go through the same thing. Although i am still struggling with my sexuality and i sometimes just think I'm an ordinary Bisexual girl. I grew up in an environment filled with boys, in which i was the only girl there. I've had a couple of friends who've noticed a certain weird behaviour of mine and just strongly feel I'm mostly attracted to the same sex than the opposite. I still sttuggle because i don't know how i feel about this but then it is who and what i am. I just pray i get some sort of revelation soon so i can move past this, and a lot of guidance and counselling to help me move forward would be of great help too. Because well, believe it or not, I've battled depression for the past 06 years because of this, still am but it's slightly getting better. Just taking it one day at a time
ReplyDeleteHow can I reach out to you and be of help?
DeleteWell i can give you my phone number and we can chat more on WhatsApp or Calls or something.
DeleteYou've been through a lot 😔 but I love your resilience 💪🏾. It hurts but you push forward. Zimbabwe is very homophobic. It's, sad really how people get so emotional over things that don't affect them.
ReplyDeleteKeep pushing. Keep smiling. Keep living your life.
Lots of hugs and love ❤️
Thank you so very much !!
DeleteYour writings are life���� , love live and laugh❣❤
ReplyDeleteThank you ❤️
DeleteReading this broke my heart. A beautiful smile the world made you turn into a frown, a laughter walls and ears never heard because the world made you feel like you had to hide.
ReplyDeleteSo many times we feel judged and resentful of the world because of its ignorance. The world pretends to be progressive but sometimes all I see is discrimination and evil.
So many people live in fear, so many times I've had to be "ordinary" or "normal" as if my preference makes me less than.
I hope your smile shines and your laugh resonates until they see just how awesome you are. I say this to you and to anyone who has ever had to hide who they are, has had to cover their smile and laughter with the popular resting bitch face.
Just reading this coming out of my interview made my day!! You are too kind and thank you for the words of affirmation
DeleteZimbabweans are just so homophobic, you gotta wear your confidence otherwise we sorrounded by people who are too involved in matters that doesn't even concern them��
ReplyDelete❤️❤️❤️
DeleteThe only thing Zimbabweans know how to do extremely well is judge. I hope you never allow anyone to take away your light ☀️☀️
ReplyDelete��You do have a great smile and laugh!
ReplyDeleteI have met you in 3 different occasions but we've never spoken lol. I remember the first couple of times I saw you, you were just chilled and wearing a poker face... I did feel intimidated by you tbh so I never got the courage to say hi. On the third occasion you were just in your space (smiling and laughing), with the crowd you're used to I guess... that's when I realized you are actually approachable.
All I can say is kill them with kindness, don't let the hate dull your personality...your smile and laugh may actually make someone's day��