Sunken Place

 

If you were locked in a car boot for years you’d have never survived. You’d be screaming hoping someone hears you and frees you. The moment that you are set free that claustrophobia disappears, you inhale deeply in relief because you almost lost that little glimpse of hope. 

Imagine being born in a closet you can’t get out of, feeling sadness you can never explain because your actions should match your gender. Feeling Stifled in your skin and suffocated in your body. With organs you never asked for but can’t replace, “feeling like a girl in a mans body” how do you explain that to traditional orthodox adults who painted my room blue when I like pink, who bought suits when I wanted a tutu… I have always been in the sunken place, watching my body live the life I despise, self medicating and day dreaming about fendi and Prada… Before my grand exist, just as I was about to lose that glimpse I heard a soothing voice I heard “BRING BACK MY GIRLS” watching drag race gave me that hope, that glimpse shined bright it was evident even in the way I started seeing life. Unfortunately the glimpse was stolen when I self medicated right into a grand exist that left me without even one pair of red bottoms I used to dream about… Though I may not be there to see it, I’m the words of Momma Ru “If you can’t love yourself how the hell you going to love someone else” be fabulous every chance you get.

©️ NANA